Waiting Where We Cannot See
On holding to hope when it's hard.
We recently had our yard torn up to rework our water drainage pipes, level the land, and re-plant grass so we could have an actual backyard, not just one of weeds.
The yard is full of hay, dirt stained yellow, covering where I hope to see green. Seeds are planted, we are watering, and I am waiting for signs of life. It’s been a week and a half since planting and I have yet to see any shoots of green start to sprout.
It looks barren, and I wonder, will it become what it is meant to?
I really want the promise that things are growing as they should and will be full and beautiful again. I am holding to a timeline where we are estimated to see beginnings of grass, but that is not a guaranteed timetable. But I want it to be, because I want to believe that something is coming that I cannot yet see.
As I wait for this grass with no proof that it will grow, I can only hold to Eric’s confidence in the land and how soil and grass work, and a faith of what I cannot see.
This parallels my life, as I wait for healing as well. So many doubts plague my mind, question if things will get better, if I will see healing, if I will see goodness, joy, peace, and calm again. I do not have the proof, I do not have the guarantee, and so I am left with faith and hope. They feel fragile, as they, too, feel tiny and still going down in the soil.
So I wait where I cannot see, and trust that there are bigger things at play. Believe that God is the One who is in control over the grass and my mind and body, that He knows the timeline of how things grow best. And perhaps it is slower than what I would want or what I think it should be, yet in its right time, grass will grow. It is the way of things in the natural world.
How can we hold to a faith each day when we wait and it seems like healing comes slow?
How can we endure the pain? The hurt the doubts that assail our minds that almost make the doubt seem true?
Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord. -Psalm 27:14
Here is where we hold to God’s Word, yet again, where our feelings may not match up with our faith.
Do we believe God to be God? Do we believe God to be good? Do we believe God to be good to us? These are what we wrestle with in the dark seasons of our soul. If we believe God has been faithful all of our life, we can hold to our faith that He will remain faithful.
Even while we still doubt, while we still worry and our minds spin with what if, we strengthen our faith in the waiting.
We aren’t at the end yet, so we live in the unseen. We are in the middle moments where nothing has resolved. But here in the unresolved, in the wondering, in the waiting and exhaustion, we can rely on the Lord, our God, the One whose word says He is steady and true and is at work when the wait is hard, even when the wait hurts.
He is here surrounding us. He is close, even if we can’t feel it. We don’t have to muster our own energy. The Lord does the work, the Lord fights on our behalf, and the Lord makes our hearts heal and grow just like the grass in my yard that looks nonexistent, but, in time, will make a way to full, lush green.
May God help us strengthen our souls while we wait, and have courage to believe He will come through.
There’s Always Grace,
Sarah
Book Update
In upcoming months, I’ll share the story behind why I wrote this book, how I wrote it, and what I hope it brings to your heart. I’ve also been working through pre-marketing content, getting ready to share the book with a broader audience. Stay tuned!
Recommendation and Giveaway
Congratulations to Lindsey Simmons for winning last month’s book, Surrendering Certainty!
Prayers of Rest by Asheritah Ciuciu
In Prayers of REST: Daily Prompts to Hear God's Voice, Asheritah Ciuciu offers you a respite from your spiritual to-do list. She provides guided prayers that will focus your mind and heart on Scripture. Using a memorable acronym and daily Bible verses, this prayer devotional will guide you through worship, confession, stillness, and surrender. You'll learn to:
Recite God's Goodness
Express Your Neediness
Seek His Stillness
Trust His Faithfulness
**If you’d like the book, hit Reply to the email and put “Giveaway” in the subject line. One random winner will receive a copy!
Published Pieces
One Ball Movement - Fellowship of Christian Athletes
Over the last three years, Fred Osore has diligently prayed and worked to plant and grow lacrosse on university campuses across Kenya. The first campus to join the movement was Kibabii University in Bungoma, located in the western part of the country. Kibabii also hosted the first campus FCA Huddle, and Fred has been pouring into young leaders.
Today, lacrosse is played on 10 university campuses in Kenya, and Fred is committed to identifying student-leaders who will disciple their teammates and grow campus ministry.
“I feel honored that God chose me to begin lacrosse on these universities, and that through this sport, I am able to share Jesus Christ with many of the young men and ladies,” Fred shared. “I’m at the point where I wanted to disciple them so that they can also start making disciples, because the end product is I want them to grow in the Lord and share Him with those who play sports.”
He Who Sticks Close - Crossmap
My childhood best friend and I were inseparable. She lived in the house behind me, and our dads cut a trail between the trees so we could cut right through to each other’s yards. We loved to read and make up stories, we loved riding our bikes and bonding over being the oldest child. We even looked alike with our blonde hair, blue eyes, wore glasses, and many times were mistaken for sisters. We were sisters, in our hearts.
The bond of friendship is fierce, loyal, and lasting. To know someone has your back if you’re feeling blue or having that one person you can run to with exciting news and know they’ll share in your joy, is special. And the more time you spend with someone, the closer you become, creating moments that turn to memories. Who we spend time with has influence.
From the Blog
Always There, Always Here
| inspired by Psalm 139:5 |
You are always there.
You are always here.
When I look behind
I see Your shadow,
where You have been.
When I look ahead,
You are already
guiding the way.
And when I look beside me,
Your eyes are on me,
Your hand finding mine,
Your blessing on my head,
and peace in my heart.
You know me full well;
there is delight when You
think of me.
You are always there.
You are always here.
Connect with Me
I’d love to hear from you - send me an email at sarahefreymuth@gmail.com to say hi, share a thought that’s on your heart, and let me know how to pray for you. You can connect with me on my social handles, as well: